Thanks to “Hamptons Bladder,” Bladder Botox Is on the Rise

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A New York City urologist administering “bladder Botox” is raising awareness of a critical public health issue: having to stop for bathroom breaks on the way to the Hamptons.

Bravely serving Manhattan’s one percent, Dr. David Shusterman is allowing rich people to drive to the Hamptons faster by injecting their bladders with Botox, a neuromodulater typically used to treat wrinkles that also decreases urinary frequency for women (handy!).

For Hamp-dudes, Dr. Shusterman — who appears to run the Instagram pages @sex_urologist and @erectionwave — performs prostate artery embolization (PAE), another procedure that reduces the need to urinate.

First reported on by Insider, “Hampton’s Bladder” can have devastating effects including but not limited to: having to step foot in a public restroom, and even bitchily arguing with your friends over stopping to pee.

“Thousands of people are probably fighting about this every week,” said Dr. Shusterman, who’s witnessed a 20 percent surge in patients seeking PAE and advertises his services with the clever slogan “race to the Hamptons, not to the bathroom.”

“I can’t tell you how many arguments I personally get into — I’ve lost three friends because I’m the driver and refuse to stop for them,” he added. If only Hunter, Digby, and Chad got their groins snipped, they’d be one pal richer!

So forget about your laugh lines and crow’s feet and get injected down there, stat. Peeing is for poor people!

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