These Tables Won’t Cost an Arm but Maybe Your Legs

Instagram’s pointless updates and video-focused initiative is undoubtedly annoying, but I still have a love for the platform’s ability to put me on to new things.

Not a day goes by where I don’t stumble across a new food recipe — which I’ll happily bookmark but never cook — or a crazy new fashion product.

I try to expect the unexpected on Instagram, especially after stumbling across a YEEZY FOAM mask and Brian Downey’s hat made of beans (?). However, nothing could’ve prepared me for my latest discovery: leg tables.

To be clear, I’m talking about makeshift legs dressed in IRL trousers and footwear complete with a round table top. The name of this wild product? Simply, the boot-legs table.

While I’m stuck between fearfully covering my eyes and wanting one for my living space, I can’t deny that the boot-leg table is very tongue-in-cheek.

Tables are usually held up by metal or wood legs rather than terrifying yet drippy recreations of people’s lower limbs, which actually isn’t a new thing. Just ask Pintrest and Hannah Montana.

Rick Owens even got leg up — more like a body up — on the competition, turning himself into a table.

Where exactly on Instagram did I find the boot-legs tables? Why, none other than the Instagram account cleverly named “Pitter Patter,” aka the sound made by tiny feet or light footsteps.

Scrolling through the feed, I was greeted by 49 posts of boot-leg tables, pieces an Instagram commenter called “something you’d find cleaning out your great grandma’s house.”

An Osiris D3 table, inspired by Toy Story‘s Sid, caught the NY subway. In another post, a sneaker table featuring pink trousers and a fur leopard top posted up on a block.

Surprisingly, leg-tables aren’t the wildest thing you’ll see on the NY streets.

The Brooklyn-based studio even hilariously recreated Lil Baby’s green Supreme and Balenciaga x Crocs boots look, using mom-adjacent rain boots, distressed white moto jeans, and New York Yankee green top.

In March, the brand launched its first boot-legs table drop: classic suit trousers and leather boots finished with a tree trunk slice.

In just six months, the boot-leg tables has bewildered and intrigued Instagram simultaneously, in addition to infiltrating the NFT space.

Nonetheless, the boot-legs tables seem to be a hit amongst a few NY kitschy decor heads, as the furniture is sold out on the brand’s website.

However, the brand is currently accepting commissions on its website for bespoke 26 in-tall boot-legs tables for $300, clothing and shoes not included.

With the brand’s fanbase slowly growing, interested buyers may want to shake a leg as only five commission spots are open.

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