Cuffing Season Sucks Unless You’re a Supermodel


Congrats to Emily Ratajkowski and Gisele Bündchen, who have reportedly selected Cuffing Season partners: Pete Davidson and Joaquim Valente, respectively.

The rumor that two supermodels managed to snag short-term boyfriends for the winter may not come as particularly inspiring news to the rest of the struggling population, but we’re pretty happy for EmRata and Gisele!

It’s been two months since Ratajkowski filed for divorce from her (alleged) cheater of a husband, Sebastian Bear McClard, who had the gall to propose with a folded up paperclip. Now, it seems she’s swapping bent wire for a tiny little tattoo — though it’s unclear whether Davidson will have room to fit “EmRata” between “KIM,” “MY GIRL IS A LAWYER,” and the rest of his tributes to ex-girlfriends.

Bündchen, on the other hand, reached a divorce settlement with Tom Brady in late October, officially putting an end to a relationship that kinda confused everyone from the start. While the ex-couple had apparently been on the outs for years, it wasn’t Brady’s MAGA hat that pushed Bündchen to call it quits — it was his decision to retire from football and promptly un-retire 40 days later.

She has reportedly moved on to another athlete, Joaquim Valente, one half of the Miami-based Valente Brothers jiu-jitsu academy. Bündchen, who apparently takes classes with the Valentes, posted about their “awesome” teaching skills back in February.

If you’re still benched for Cuffing Season, don’t fret — you can totally find someone to distract yourself from the cold, just like these celebrities did. Maybe try applying for Raya again?!

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